A Warning on Spontaneous Combustion
O whisky is the king of drinks,
Renowned the world o’er,
But here’s a word o’ caution,
Tae think of when ye pour.
There’s a certain combination,
That tastes so very good,
But when it hits your tummy,
And mixes with your food.
That’s when the trouble starts,
For yer pleasure hits overload,
And half an hour later,
Ye’ll suddenly explode.
So there ye are in the pub,
Completely engulfed in flames,
And yer good wife’s dashing home,
Tae lodge insurance claims.
Well now that I have told ye,
Don’t say ye’ve no’ been warned,
So don’t try it oot yersel’,
Or ye’ll soon be bein’ mourned.

From No' Rabbie Burns by Stuart McLean

Yer Other National Drink
Chorus:
O Whit’ll ye hae for drinking, for drinking, for drinking?
Whit’ll ye hae for drinking?
Ah’ll hae an Irn-Bru.

There’s monie a tipple in this land,
Beer an’ vodka an’ Buckie too,
But when Ah’m no drinking whisky,
Ah’d rather hae Irn-Bru.

Ah’d never take a sip o’ gin,
And cider makes me sick,
So when Ah want tae quench a thirst,
The Barrbru dis the trick.

Ye ken its made frae girders,
Stolen oot o’ building sites,
And then its mixed wae necter,
For a taste that aye delights.

So when yer next at the shops,
Pick up a jumbo pack,
Or better still, make that two,
Tae save ye rushing back.

From No' Rabbie Burns by Stuart McLean

Pour Me Anither One Do
O I sit here amidst the lonely gloom,
Of a public house in Inverfrew,
And sip upon ma solitude,
Like a hermit lost in a crowd.
“One whisky’s ne’er enough – pour me anither one do.”

And sadness washes over me,
My troubles rise to haunt anew,
While all around the strangers dance,
Like ghosts of ma long lost past.
“Two whisky’s ne’er enough – pour me anither one do.”

Against ma will ma spirits lift,
I bid ma blues adieu,
As malty warmth runs through ma blood,
And leads ma soul frae dark caves.
“Three whisky’s ne’er enough – pour me anither one do.”

I raise a smile at the throbbing mass,
A blur of swirling happiness I view,
No longer strangers – neighbours, friends,
These are my dearest family.
“Four whisky’s ne’er enough – pour me anither one do.”

“Dougie mate how’s it goin’ ma man”,
“Senga doll, yer lookin’ grand ra noo”,
“Och guys huv a told ye’s that Ah love ye’s awe”,
“Come oan, Ah’s ell gets ye’s awe a weee drink”,
“Four whisky’s ne’er enough – pour me anither one do.”
“Aye an’ a round fae awe ma mates – see them Ah couldnae live without them. Pure dead brilliant so they ur – know whit Ah mean?”

Two Whisky Cocktails from our collection:

Whisky Cocktail : Johnny Puke recipe

Ingredients for the cocktail:

2 oz Johnnie Walker® Red Label Scotch whisky
2 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur
8 oz orange juice

How to make it:

Stir ingredients together in a highball glass and serve.

Whisky Cocktail : Ma Wee Hen recipe

Ingredients for the cocktail:

1 1/2 oz Scotch whisky
1/2 oz dry sherry
1/2 oz orange juice
1/2 oz lemon juice
1 tsp grenadine syrup

How to make it:

Shake all ingredients with ice cubes strain into a cocktail glass and serve.

Interesting :