Calan had been out on the town and it was well into the small hours when he was heading home to his little cottage on the outskirts of Fort William. As he goes through a red light he hears the wail of a police siren and moments later is forced to pull over.
'Hellooo,' says the officer. 'And have we been havin' a bit o' a drink then?'
'Oh aye,' says Calan, 'well jist a few.'
'And how many do we call jist a few?' says the officer.
'Well Ah had a bottle o' whisky wae ma dinner,' says Calan. 'An' then at the pub Ah had twelve pints an' another half bottle.'
'Och is that all. Sorry for troubling you,' says the officer. 'Now beware of these traffic lights they have an awful habit o' changing unexpectedly.'
From - Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road? By Stuart McLean
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