Hamish goes into a posh London bar and asks the bartender if he has a good selection of whiskies. The barman assures him that he has such an extensive cellar he can provide any whisky requested.
'Okay let's try you out,' says Hamish, 'bring me a 1972 Ledaig please.'
The bartender goes down to the cellar and comes back with a crystal glass containing the amber nectar.
Hamish takes a sniff, 'Smells beautiful.' He takes a sip. 'Excellent. May I complement you on storing the Ledaig in a way that has maintained its wonderful flavour.'
Hamish takes his time savouring the magnificent whisky then asks for a 1964 Clan Denny. The barman disappeared into the cellar where, to his horror he discovers that he doesn't have any left. He does however have a bottle of 1965 so he returns with a glass of that, thinking that Hamish will never know.
Hamish takes a sniff. 'Something's wrong here,' he says. He sips the liquid. 'My good man - this is a '65 - it's quite different from the '64 due to the wet summer that year.'
Embarrassed the barman offers Hamish the next drink on the house. Hamish thinks for a few moments then request a 1953 Balvenie Single Barrel.
Worrying about losing his reputation the barman rushes down to the cellar in search of the rare whisky. Much to his relief he eventually finds a bottle. However, he's annoyed at the Scotsman's superior knowledge so he undoes his flies and adds a little extra to the drink. Smirking he returns to the bar and hands Hamish the crystal glass.
Hamish takes a sniff. 'An interesting bouquet.' Slowly he savours the flavour. 'A delight,' he proclaims. 'It has a vanilla honeyed sweetness with subtle hints of heather and dry oak. I do believe it comes from barrel forty-two.'
As the barman stands grinning, Hamish leans over the bar and whispers in his ear, 'Can I suggest you see your doctor tomorrow - I think you might have a doze of gonorrhea.'
From - Why Did the Haggis Cross the Road? By Stuart McLean
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