Bobby was a drinker.
A heavy drinker.
Finally his long suffering wife has had enough and issued him with an ultimatum. Come home drunk once more, and I'll leave you.
Next evening Bobby visited his local with his friends. He stayed longer than he intended, and after a while was once again very drunk. After one final drink for the road, he was sick. Vomit splattered all over his suit.
'Oh my God!' he exclaims to his friend. 'If I go home like this, my wife - she'll leave me'
'No problem' says his quick thinking friend. Simply sponge the worst of it off and put a 20 note in your jacket pocket. When you get home you can simply tell your wife someone else was sick on you. 'Look, they even gave me 20 for the dry cleaning'
Bobby gets home, his good lady takes one look at him and heads to the bedroom to get her suitcase. 'No, no' protests Bobby. 'Someone else was sick on me. Not my fault this time. Look, look they even gave me 20 to pay for the dry cleaning'
His wife stops, looks at him, then asks 'Ok, but why are you waving TWO 20 notes about?'
'Aaaaahhhh' replies Bobby. 'The other one is from the man who sh@t in my pants'
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